Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
