He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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