You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
this will be a night to untag.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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