Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
