woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
