i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
