maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
