Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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