Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
