Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
