he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
