How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
