Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
