This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
These tits shall not be calmed
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
