Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
