That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
