i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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