u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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