i need an iv and a liver transplant
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My breasts were aching with rage.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
