went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize