No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The Olympian is in my bed
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
