Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize