If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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