don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize