so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Enjoy the penises
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
