Your mouth is God's brothel.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
