Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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