is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
