Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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