What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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