Just mADE A PArabola og urine
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
