so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
