A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
