Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize