but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Im part way to drunk.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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