Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
