Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
