it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
