okay pat passed out under dana's car
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
