Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize