That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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