Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
