THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
