I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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