Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize