My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
