i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize