The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
