I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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