He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When did we convert life to cartoon?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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