Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
