She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
