Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
