You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
