If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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