my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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