Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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