Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
