after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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